Before I moved up to San Francisco about a year and half ago, I used to work at a hair salon back home in Orange County. It was right in front of the beach, Newport Beach. If you have seen the MTV reality show, you get the idea how it is like there; the people with flip-flops all year around, the sun and the palm tree all over the place.
Not only I was a receptionist who had to take care of almost everything from answering the phone for booking appointments to cleaning up the mess, it was such a busy and trendy hair salon where one has to wait for two months just to get a haircut. Those people who come there do not care about the cost but have very high expectation of beauty. It is not the service they are getting makes them happy but the fact that they can come to the salon where everyone desperately wants to go. So the question is what if they cannot do what they used to anymore?
It happened when one woman called in for an appointment around 5pm when I was already worn out from the work. She asked for a haircut in three weeks from that day. There was no way. We already had full appointments booked till a month and half away. So I had to inform her politely that there is not enough space for her at this moment. Then I heard her heavy breathe and deep sigh. I knew she did it on purpose so that I feel bad for her. So I apologized for the inconvenience. My apology did not satisfy her. Even over the phone, I could feel that she was still mad and disappointed.
We were in silence for some time. I was so tired and just wanted to hang up on her. But then I thought what if I were her, how do I feel? I had to let my mind open and think about how she was feeling at that moment even though she was not being nice to me. So I decided to be nice and told her that I can call her back if there are any cancellations. There was no need for me to do that. I could just tell her to wait for a month and end the call. But I didn’t because I just did not see the point of doing so. Moreover, it was my responsibility to take care of the customer. However, it did not satisfy her either. She went on and on saying that I should find a way to squeeze her in and even ended up saying what kind of training I am getting from my boss. Eventually she had to talk to my boss, hairstylist, directly and made a deal coming in at 6am in the morning a week from that day.
What I learned from this experience is that how important it is to take a step back and see things as what it is. When I am in the moment, I am so caught up and seeing only the part of it. I could see the woman just as a rude customer but also I could also think that she might have had some reasons to be that way. She might have had really a bad day or so tired like I was. By putting myself in someone’s situation, it lets myself be more objective and have empathy toward other people. I tend to forget those things especially when I am with my family or close friends. I feel like I know what they are thinking and how they feel about things. In fact, I need to pay more attention because they are the ones I care the most.
I also learned that there is no need to be nice to someone who is not nice to me but also there is no need to be rude to him/her either. Especially if the person is a stranger, I am more willing to be nice. Even though I will not see him/her ever again, if my act of being nice could make his day, I choose to do so because for me, the only way to be happy is by making someone else happy. It goes the same for love. I want to make someone feel loved so that I can feel love from them. I am not looking for any return. That is not the point. Though I believe it just happens naturally when I give something to someone even not all the time.
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